Bad-tempered wife

 

As-salaamu-alaikum,
I have a wife who is very temperamental. She often gets angry with me, the
children and many of our family members.
I have spoken to her on many occasions and she admits & then
apologises thereafter. Is there something, from the Quraan or Hadith, that I may read for
her to be relaxed/calm and as far as possible for this not to happen to her. Other than
this, she is a wondeful wife & mother.

Praise be to Allaah.

You will find a detailed answer to this question
in the book “Problems and Solutions”, which you can read on this website
under the heading “"shaykh Wa Hulool",

’s books”, and in the answer to Question
#658. The fact that your wife apologizes
indicates that she recognizes and regrets her mistakes, which is the first step
towards solving the problem. Remind her of her position in the household and
that she is an example to the children, and warn her that her children may copy
her bad behaviour and it may become part of their personalities, thus perpetuating
the problem. Try to contain her by your patience. Your acknowledgement that
she is a good wife and mother reminds me of the hadeeth of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “No believing man should hate
a believing woman; if he hates one of her characteristics, he will be pleased
with another.” (Reported by Muslim, 2672). Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his commentary
on this hadeeth: “I.e., he should not hate her, because although he may
find in her one characteristic which he dislikes, he will find something that
pleases him. Although she may be ill-tempered, she may also be religious or
beautiful or chaste or kind towards him or something like that.” We ask
Allaah to guide your wife and make her character good. May Allaah bless our
Prophet Muhammad.