A message to someone Drowning

 

Author:
Sh. Hamed ibn Abdullah Al-Ali

 

Question: 

I would like to let you know that I have committed
most major sins and I am not saying this in order to take pride in my sins; I
used to feel this before but not any longer. I have drunk wine twice in my life
or perhaps three times, I don’t know. I have committed adultery with almost 10
women and I was about to destroy the future of a girl but Allah saved her from
my harm; I do not know is it possible that Allah repents on me and forgives me?
I don’t know, I have tried to repent more than once and every time I return to
the same sins to the degree that I have felt I am a hypocrite who is not afraid
of death and being accounted. Sometimes I feel that Allah loves me and that I
love Him, but then Satan quickly takes over my heart again.

I have
defeated Satan in many rounds, but he defeated me in more battles; Is it
possible for me to return to Allah once again and how?

I have prayed
a lot but more than that I have interrupted my prayers. My weakness has reached
points a believer cannot imagine.

I have sworn
upon the Holy Quran that I will stop smoking but I haven’t.

I have
promised Allah Himself that I will not view pornographic sites and that I will
never visit them again and that I will not watch those unclean movies that the
west uses to kill our faith but I have broken my promise to Allah; My will has
weakened to a level that nobody can imagine after I used to have strength in
performance and the ability to change my personality and my way of life;

I have become
a person who does not feel the pleasure of life even though I still maintain my
soul and my rounds of vice, sins, lying, cheating; so how do I get rescued?

I want to
know what religious people have known but what

I haven’t. I
am sure that they know something I don’t know and don’t feel, so why? This is
me so what do I do to benefit me, may Allah benefit you.

 

Answer:

In the name
of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise be to Allah, and prayers and
greetings upon our prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.

The prophet
(PBUH) said Allah will repent upon whoever repents before the sun rises from
the west [reported by Muslim from the hadith of Abu Hurairah]

I have read
your message, and I know that nothing prevents you from repenting, even if your
sins reach the sky or fill the whole earth. As long as the human is in this
life, the door of repentance is open. I have noted from your letter that you
are living a battle between the call of faith in your heart, and the call of
desire that is guided by Satan in your heart

Praise be to
Allah the Exalted who has retained in your heart some of the light of faith,
which blames you for sins, and beautified good deeds to you.

But this
light is weak, because the darkness of sins, which are the blowings of Satan,
has weakened this light. This is why it sometimes shines, making your
conscience awake a little, only to extinguish again and you return to
committing sins.

I will
clarify to you the illness that you are suffering from, then I will describe
the treatment, so please read this with reflection and interest, may Allah
benefit you from it.

Dear brother,
the heart is the place of will in the human; sometimes it wants good, and
sometimes evil, and the body parts are nothing but soldiers that obey the heart
according to what it desires.

The
difference between religious people and yourself is that the hearts of the
former firmly want good, so their body parts obey this will and are thus
persistent in obeying Allah the Exalted. As for yourself, your heart knows good
and evil, and differentiates between good and bad deeds, but it cannot want
good, so you find that it wants desires even though it knows they will harm it,
so it commands the body parts so they obey it, but what is the reason?.

The reason is
that the hearts that are immune to Satan easily want to do good because these
hearts are healthy and strong. On the other hand, in hearts that Satan can
enter and wonder in freely, Satan can easily achieve making the heart want
sins, after he has made them look attractive to the heart, because the latter is
ill and full of satanic germs.

 For some people, Satan only briefly
enters their hearts owing to the strong immunity surrounding them. For example,
those who commit minor sins then quickly repent from them, and those are the
ones about whom Allah (SWT) has said (interpretation of the meaning): {The
pious ones, when a visitation from Satan afflicts them they become mindful,
then lo! they see.}.

There are
some people whom Satan never comes close to their hearts, as they are like the
sky, which is guarded from devils by flames; likewise their hearts are guarded
from devils.

The Prophet
(PBUH) has said about this heart white like a smooth rock not harmed by
temptation as long as the heavens and earth exist [reported by Muslim from the
hadith of Huzaifah (RAA)]. Satan has entered the hearts of other people and has
dwelled there and created a nest for himself in which he lays his eggs and
hatches them. So he has controlled these hearts, commanding them to do
forbidden desires, so their hearts want these desires and command their body
parts to commit them and they indeed do that. This is because Satan has found
hearts that have no immunity, their doors open, weak and ill owing to
committing sins, and this is why Allah the Exalted has said about this type
(interpretation of the meaning) {Satan has gained the mastery over them, so he
has made them forget the remembrance of Allah}.

Because the
zikr (remembrance) of Allah is immunity from Satan, Satan has made them forget
it in order to control and drive their hearts, which their body parts will then
follow.

The heart is
not immunized from Satan except with the zikr of Allah the Exalted, and it does
not have the strength to want good except by doing good deeds.

Satan does
not defeat the heart unless it is inattentive of the zikr of

Allah the
Exalted and weak because of committing sins and vice.

And now,
after you have known the reason why your heart does not obey you in wanting to
do good and avoid sins, and cannot preserve its righteousness, the treatment is
in the following medical prescription. Take it and maintain it as its results
are guaranteed -Allah willing - if you persevere it honestly:

 

1.       Maintain the five
prayers in congregation, especially the fajr prayer and never miss it. Allah
the

Exalted says
{and the fajr reading, for the fajr reading is witnessed} i.e. the fajr prayer
is witnessed by angels.

2.       After the fajr
prayer remain in the mosque to read the Quran until sunrise, and then offer 2 rakas
10 minutes after sunrise.

3.       Say subhan Allah
wa bi hamdih (may Allah be glorified and praised) one hundred times a day at
any time in the mosque or house, whether walking, sitting, in the car, etc.
This zikr wipes out sins.

4.       Ask forgiveness
of Allah one hundred times each day, saying astaghfirullah wa atoobu ilayh (I
ask forgiveness of Allah and I repent to Him), once again at any time you wish
and in whatever condition you are in.

5.       Say this zikr: la
ilaha illa Allahu wahdahu la sharika lah, lahulmulku wa lahulhamdu wa howa ala
kul shayin qadeer (there is no god but Allah; He has no partner; He has the
possession and praise, and He is capable of everything) one hundred times each
day at any time you wish and in whatever condition you are in. It doesn’t
necessarily have to be said in the mosque. The prophet (PBUH) maintained these
zikrs, as they are the life of the heart and its indispensable nutrition.

6.       Between Maghrib
and Ishaa remain in the mosque and do not leave it, and recite as much as you
can of the Quran while concentrating

 

7.       You should
totally avoid watching TV and reading magazines, and going to places where
there is vice, as you are in quarantine in order to restore health to your
heart, and the medicine (good deeds) will not benefit you if you induce disease
(sins) into your heart during the treatment period.

8.       Continue this
program for at least a month: living with the Quran reciting it with
consideration, and acting upon what is in it; spending time alone for long
hours for the zikr of Allah the Exalted. The proof of doing this for a month is
that the prophet (PBUH) ordered that by saying “Recite the Quran in a month, in
25 days, in 10 days, in 7 days” [Bukhari & Muslim from the hadith of Ibn
Omar].

9.       If the
environment in which you live does not support you in applying this program
then change this environment: abandon bad friends, and avoid places in which
you spend your free time if they encourage you to commit sins, and if you can
travel to Makkah for example to follow this program then do it.

10.     Donate part of your money as
a form of repentance to Allah the Exalted, as secret charities are seen only by
Allah the Exalted. In the authentic hadith “Secret charities extinguish the
anger of the Lord” [narrated by ibn Hibban from the hadith of Anas].

11.     Try to perform umrah with the
intention of renewing your faith and cleansing your past with the water of this
blessed trip. The prophet (PBUH) said A umrah causes forgiving of sins since
the previous umrah, and an accepted hajj has no reward other than paradise
[Bukhari & Muslim from the hadith of Abu Hurairah (RAA)].

12.     If you owe anything to others
return everything, and do not retain anything you will be accounted for, as a
form of repentance to Allah.

13.     Ask Allah every night during
the sahar (prior to fajr) with this supplication Rabbi inni zalamtu nafsi
zulman kathiran wa la yaghfir uzunuba illa Ant, faghfir lee maghfiratan min
indik warhamni, inaka Anta Alghafoor Urraheem (My Lord, I have oppressed myself
a lot and only You forgive sins, so forgive me a forgiveness from You and have
mercy upon me, You are Most Forgiving, Most Merciful), and also Allahuma
alhimni rushdi wa qini shar nafsi(O Allah, grant me my the right way and
protect me from the evil of myself), as the prophet (PBUH) taught these two to
some of his companions.

In addition,
perform a lot of istighfar and supplication, as the sahar is a time of
acceptance of supplication.

This is your
prescription, and one month is not necessarily the period required, as change
might appear on you before that, or you might need more than a month in this
quarantine. The goal is to expel Satan from the heart and clean his traces and
dirt and the filth that he has placed there, as this is the reason behind the
weakness of your heart and its incapability of wanting good and doing good
deeds, and its quickness to follow desires.

So if health
returns to your heart and you become fit and strong when it comes to the zikr
of Allah the Exalted, immune from the cunningness of Satan, then you may
slightly reduce this program to the extent that you can withstand, as the
prophet (PBUH) said “You should do what you can withstand” [Bukhari &
Muslim from the hadith of Aisha (RAA)], unless you can withstand more than
this, for in this case you should increase doing good as long as your heart
loves good deeds.

These
faithful duties are the levels as considered by Allah: the more a servant does,
s/he ascends in the levels of piety. The best things to perform are what Allah
has prescribed upon you (obligatory forms of worship). You will notice that
things have changed in a surprising manner, as long as you maintain the
prescription I have given you, and you will find yourself hating to commit sins
and your heart not wanting them, looking at them with inferiority and disdain.
You will also like good deeds and feel enthusiastic about them, and feel their
good taste in your heart. The secret behind this change is that you have
treated you heart with the zikr of Allah the Exalted and good deeds until your
heart has become healthy wanting good and loving it after it was ill, wanting
evil and sins and loving them. Allah, the Truth and

Exalted says
(interpretation of the meaning) {but Allah has endeared the faith to you and
has made it seemly in your hearts, and He has made hateful to you unbelief and
transgression and disobedience; those are the followers of the right way).

 

By grace from
Allah and as a favor; and Allah is Most Knowing, Most Wise} and Allah knows
best

 

Sh. Hamed ibn
Abdullah Al-Ali, who loves good for You.